Wet
by hheath541
Summary: After a passing comment gets Jane's interest, Maura ends up sharing a story from college.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this story was sparked by a random phrase that popped into my head, that I HAD to find a way to share. It took several hours, and some help, but I FINALLY found a scenario that fit. Oddly enough, I had the second chapter written, in my head, before I was able to come up with the first one.**

**I own nothing. This is humor/borderline crackfic! and should not be taken seriously. Actually, go ahead and try, it'll make me laugh. The rating is for a couple words, if it weren't for those, it could very well be K.**

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"Really? Are you serious? You can't be serious. You have to be making that up."

Sighing loudly, Maura rolled her eyes, even though Jane couldn't see her, through the phone. "Jane, you know very well that I can't lie. Therefore, I'm not making it up. I don't understand your disbelief, of fixation on this matter. It was just a passing statement. Can you please let it go, now?"

Jane's voice was eager, and Maura could hear the grin. "Oh, no, I'm not letting it go. Ever. You can't say something like that, and expect me to just ignore it. Come on. You have to tell me the story. You HAVE to. If you don't, then I'll just have to make up my own, and you know you don't want that."

Holding the phone against her shoulder with her chin, Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them to finish unloading the dishwasher. "I HAVE to do no such thing. I can't believe you're still talking about this. It was a passing remark I made two days ago. You're acting like a child."

The distinct whine in Jane's voice made Maura roll her eyes, again. "I am NOT acting like a child. You just can't say things like that, and expect me to forget about it. Come on, at least give me a hint. Please?"

Closing her eyes and sighing loudly, Maura shook her head. "Fine. If I give you a hint, will you leave me alone?"

Maura actually heard Jane jumping up and down and clapping her hands. "YES! I will leave you alone if you give me a hint. It had to be a good one, though. No cheating and trying to get out of it by telling be something like what day of the week it was, or something."

Nodding and thinking for a moment, Maura smiled and closed sat down on a stool. "It was a long time ago, I have no idea what day or the week it was. It happened when I was in college, when I joined the sorority. Are we done now?"

The loud reaction had her pulling the phone away from her ear. "NO, we're not done. No way. That just makes me want to know, even more. Now you REALLY have to tell me the whole story. You know I will keep asking until you give in, so you might as well save us both some time."

Resting her forehead on her hand, Maura huffed in frustration. "You really ARE acting like a child. If you continue, I will be forced to treat you like a child. I believe children who misbehave are punished by having anticipated activities denied to them. Maybe I should ground you. I think canceling this Friday's plans would be appropriate."

Snorting laughter was the immediate response. "Not gonna happen. You forget, I know you. You're looking forward to it as much as I am. I know you've had the outfit and 'accessories' in your closet for more than a week. I saw them there last weekend. Now, are you going to tell me? I am fully prepared to bring it up every time I see or talk to you, until you give in. You know me, I can keep it up for weeks."

Finally giving in, Maura squeezed her eyes shut and sighed loudly. "Very well. I'll tell you. I don't see what the big deal is, anyway. It's hardly the most risque thing I've ever done. Some of the things we've done together would probably be considered more risque."

Taking a deep breath, Maura leaned back and started her story.

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Three days later, Maura ended up regretting her decision. It was Sunday and the Rizzoli family was gathered in her house for dinner, as had become tradition. She was in the kitchen helping Angela with the dishes and putting the leftovers away, when Jane's voice caught her attention. "You guys will never believe what Maura did in college."

Putting down the plate in her hand, she stormed around the island, stopping beside the couch and glaring down at Jane, hands on her hips. "Jane Rizzoli, that story was told under duress, and was not intended to be repeated."

Turning her head slowly and looking up at Maura, Jane rolled her eyes. "Come on, we both knew I'd be sharing it, as soon as you told me. Like you said, it's not that bad. We've done worse stuff, together. Hell, we've done worse stuff together, at WORK. Besides, it's funny, and kinda awesome."

Hands falling limply to her sides, Maura sighed. "Fine, since I do not want a repeat of your childish pouting and whining, from earlier this week, you can tell them. I will be getting myself a fresh glass of wine, to better prepare myself for the teasing I know will follow."

Reaching out to stop her from walking away, Jane's gaze softened and she spoke quieter. "You know we're not being mean, right? You're part of the family. Family teases each other. We do it because we care, and it's fun to be able to joke about things that are slightly embarrassing. If it really bothers you, then I won't tell them."

Smiling slightly, Maura squeezed Jane's hand before letting go. "Yes, I know. I'm just not used to the good natured teasing that your family seems to make a habit of. You can tell them. I don't mind. Really. Like you said, it's slightly embarrassing, but I am oddly proud of it. I still want a glass of wine. I'll bring you another beer, too."

Jane waited until Maura sat down next to her, wine glass in one hand and Jane's beer in the other. Taking the beer and taking a sip, she smiled in thanks, then started the story. "Ok, so we were watching Grease the other night, because Maura'd never seen it. It gets to the scene where the lady is making the announcement saying they're going to get FBI, or whatever, to identify the mooners by their butts." Pausing, she waited until Frankie and Tommy both nodded to show they knew what she was talking about. "Anyway, Maura says she's done that, and then just leaves it there. Refused to explain herself. Just saying she's identified someone by their butt."

When all three of them turned to look at her, the guys in disbelief and Jane in amusement, Maura blushed slightly. "Yes, well, as I told Jane, it was in college."

Snorting, Jane took another drink of beer. "Yeah, she FINALLY told me, after I kept asking, for two days. So, it turns out that when she was joining the sorority, all the new girls had to make a naked butt print, with blue paint, on a piece of paper. Then, they had to try to match all the butt prints to the girls who made them. Maura's the only one who got them all right."

Biting her lip in embarrassment, Maura blushed a little darker, but still managed to smile proudly. "It really wasn't that hard. It just requires knowledge of human physiology and an observant eye. The pledges that were accepted, had to use their impression in place of nameplate, on their bedroom doors, in the sorority."

The guys were still staring at her, when Angela's voice got their attention from the kitchen. "Why would they want you to keep that on your doors, where everyone can see? Oh, never mind. It must be like sticking your dick in wet cement."

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**A/N: In case you were wondering, the sentence that started this whole thing, was the very last sentence. It just popped into my head, without any context or idea what in the world it meant or referred to. My brain is a scary place**


	2. Chapter 2

Maura was unable to stop herself from spitting wine all over Jane. Apologizing and turning back to put her wine glass down on the coffee table, she tried helping Jane wipe the wine off her shirt, before giving up and taking the dishtowel Angela brought over, and using it.

When she started wiping at Jane's shirt, she realized she was biting her lips to keep from laughing. Looking at her in confusion, she followed Jane's direction when she shook her head and pointed silently beside her. Turning to look, she saw Tommy blushing a very deep red, and Frankie looking back and forth between his siblings, in confusion. Finally, Jane was unable to hold it in, and started laughing loudly.

Tommy started sputtering futilely, before being able to speak. "MA! What? How? Why would you? How do you know about that?"

Rolling her eyes, Angela finished loading the dishwasher and started wiping down the counter. "You kids think I'm clueless. I didn't raise three kids, not knowing what was going on. You just don't give me enough credit. Nina Spencer's parents called me to ask if I had any idea what would possess you to do something like that, but I had no idea. We figured it was probably a prank, or you just wanted to do something more original than leaving a handprint. Anyway, Stacy was very glad the mold she used meant that it was the bottom of the paver that ended up...imprinted. I believe the paver was still there, when they moved out, a few years ago.

"I decided not to embarrass you, at the time, since there really was no harm done. Now, I can finally ask what went through your head to make you decide to leave an imprint of your dick in cement. I can't imagine that was comfortable, and it couldn't have been easy to clean off. And, why does Jane seem to know about?"

Laughing louder, Jane covered her mouth with one hand, eyes tearing as Tommy's blush deepened and he opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. After taking several gulping breaths to calm herself, Jane held up a hand until she was able to talk without laughing. "Tommy was, what? Fifteen? Sixteen? He came in my room, asking for help, and begging me not to tell anyone. Nina's parents came home early while she was...umm...using her mouth, for the first time. He panicked, and climbed out the window when the door started to open. When he tried to pull up his pants, he tripped and landed in the cement. He just pulled up his pants and ran. He made me promise not to tell anyone, and convinced me to skip school, the next day, so we could go smooth it out. When we got there, it was gone. We looked all over the yard, but we couldn't find the box of cement he swore he landed in. I guess Mrs. Spencer already found it."

Maura looked confused for a moment, before blinking and looking Tommy in sympathy, where he had his face buried in his hands. "Oh, you're first experience of oral sex was interrupted before completion, and that led to the rather unique cement casting. I'm sorry. That is unfortunate, and embarrassing. I hope your second experience was more enjoyable."

Standing up, and refusing to look at anyone, Tommy walked toward the door. "I'm leaving. Jane, I hate you. As soon as I figure out how, I'll get you back. Maura, I'm sorry to leave, but I'm sure you understand."

Watching him open the door and leave, Maura swatted Jane's arm. "You didn't have to take so much enjoyment in his embarrassment. I hope you apologize to him. That really was mean."

Jane rolled her eyes and held up her hands to ward off any more swats. "He's just embarrassed because he likes you. I've been teasing him about that, since it happened. Although, Ma knowing probably didn't help."

Frankie seemed to finally recover from his shock enough to speak. "Why did you ask you for help, and not me? Doesn't it make more sense to ask another guy for help with something like that?"

Opening her mouth, Jane was interrupted by Angela. "You'd been teasing him for months about not getting past first base. Do you remember how much he teased you when he caught you making out with that Chrissy girl? He was probably afraid you'd tease him even more, if you knew what happened. Jane may like to tease you boys, but she's always been willing to help you when you needed it, and she can keep a secret."

At Jane's smug look, Angela rolled her eyes. "Don't even, young lady. Your brothers are not the only ones I know things about. You are not nearly as good at hiding things as you seem to think. I know when you got caught under the bleachers with that Stevie Jones, and when Old Mr. Peters found you shirtless in the shed with Sam. He wasn't as blind as everyone thought. He called me to tell me to keep an eye on you, and to tell me that you were both good kids and it seemed pretty innocent, even if you weren't wearing a shirt."

When Jane tried to hide her blush behind her hair, Maura laughed. "What did you say about only teasing because you care? I think this qualifies as suitable payback for the slight embarrassment I suffered."

Angela raised an eyebrow at her, which had Maura's furrowing in confusion. "Just because I didn't raise you, doesn't mean I haven't overheard and seen things. Did you really think I couldn't hear you when that Ian was visiting. Even if the window hadn't been open, you were rather...enthusiastic."

Maura just nodded. "Yes, I thought you probably heard us, when you came by so early. I apologize if it embarrassed you or made you uncomfortable. When you didn't bring it up, I assumed you were only curious about who I was with, since you knew I hadn't had a date in some time, at that point. I try to remember to close the window, since then."

Angela's confusion at Maura's lack of embarrassment made Jane and Frankie start laughing, which earned a good-natured glare from their mother, and a slightly confused, but happy, smile from Maura. An incoming text made Jane laugh harder. Snatching it out of her hand, Maura read it out loud. "It's from Tommy. 'I don't hate you, but I WILL get you back.'"

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**A/N: Yep, I'm leaving it there. This is the shortest story I've ever written, and I refuse to let another story get out of control and turn into an entire series, as my ideas seem to do.**

**As is my habit, I'll give you a final count, but it hardly seems necessary. This story is two chapter, 2.3K words, and six pages long. Congrats, you just read a story shorter than most high school english papers**


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